Florida Man Brewery Safari

Welcome to Jacksonville, Florida! Guests meet in the hotel lobby at 5:00pm for a tour briefing and introduction to the crazy nine days ahead! We then head out to discover Jacksonville: expect beach bars, local craft beer and the sort of seafood restaurants where the menu proudly features items that were swimming earlier that morning.

As the sun sets, things become considerably stranger. Tonight's entertainment is retirement community karaoke night. Think less "quiet evening with pensioners" and more "America's Got Talent after three margaritas". You'll meet retirees who have spent decades perfecting their craft and have absolutely no intention of letting tourists win.

By the end of the night you'll have learned three important things: Florida retirees don't mess around, everybody knows the words to Sweet Caroline and somebody called Linda is probably the most entertaining person you've met all year.

The day begins in one of Florida's famous natural springs, where crystal-clear water bubbles up from underground and the scenery looks more Caribbean than Deep South. Swim, paddleboard or simply float around pretending you're in a travel documentary.

Later, we explore Gainesville's thriving brewery scene before heading into the student district. This is where Florida's future doctors, lawyers and scientists temporarily abandon those ambitions in favour of giant beers, food trucks and highly competitive games of cornhole.

As the evening unfolds you'll discover why university towns are some of America's best places to drink. The bars are lively, the food is excellent and every conversation eventually becomes completely ridiculous.

Welcome to the Florida you've seen in films! Airboats skim across the wetlands, alligators lurk beneath the surface and every local seems to have a story beginning with: "You won't believe this..."

We'll spend the day exploring rivers, wildlife and backroads before ending up in waterfront tiki bars where fishermen, boat captains and assorted Florida characters gather to solve the world's problems over cold beer.

The sunset is spectacular. The stories become increasingly unreliable.

Today is pure Florida! Craft breweries, beach bars, sunshine and enough palm trees to make your phone storage nervous.

By evening we swap breweries for a retirement resort disco. If you've never seen seventy-year-olds dancing enthusiastically to ABBA while drinking frozen cocktails, prepare yourself. Most guests arrive expecting irony. Most leave asking Denise for dance lessons.

The scenery becomes wilder today. We'll venture deep into the Everglades where alligators, birds and mosquitoes all seem remarkably confident.

Lunch takes place in a roadside swamp tavern decorated with enough taxidermy to fill a small museum. It is exactly the sort of place you'd never find on your own and exactly the sort of place you'll tell stories about later.

That evening we visit a genuine swamp bar where local musicians, fishermen and colourful characters gather beneath neon signs and slowly spinning ceiling fans. It's impossible to explain properly. You'll see.

Today we drive one of America's greatest roads! The Overseas Highway leaps from island to island across turquoise water, connecting beach bars, seafood shacks and hidden watering holes all the way to Key West. We'll stop frequently because not stopping would be criminal.

By sunset, you'll be sipping drinks beside the ocean while live music drifts through the air and pelicans patrol nearby tables looking for opportunities. This is usually the point where guests start browsing Florida property websites.

A full day to enjoy one of America's most entertaining towns. We'll explore Duval Street, hidden bars, waterfront taverns and places where flip-flops count as formalwear. Somewhere between the Cuban coffee, the seafood and the sunset cocktails, guests generally begin questioning why they don't live here already. Nobody ever plans to stay for one drink in Key West. Nobody succeeds.

For seven days you've explored beach bars, swamp taverns, retirement discos and places where a man arriving on a lawnmower barely raises an eyebrow. Then you arrive in Miami. Suddenly everything changes. The pickup trucks become Lamborghinis. The dive bars become rooftop cocktail lounges. The average age drops by about forty years.

We'll spend the day exploring South Beach, colourful neighbourhoods, Cuban cafés and Miami's vibrant beer and cocktail scene before one final farewell dinner. After a week of Florida weirdness, Miami feels like arriving in a completely different country that just happens to be attached to Florida. It's loud. It's flashy. It's ridiculous. In other words, it's the perfect ending.

Eventually, reality catches up. After eight days of breweries, beach bars, swamp adventures, retirement discos, frozen cocktails and conversations with people called Randy, it's time to say goodbye.

Some guests will be flying home. Others will be extending their stay. A few may still be trying to work out exactly when the group became a family.

Enjoy a final breakfast with your drinking buddies as everyone compares favourite moments from the trip. The stories will already be improving. The alligators will be getting larger. Linda's karaoke performance will somehow become even more legendary. There are hugs.There are promises to stay in touch. There are ambitious plans for future reunions that may or may not involve beer.

Then it's time for airport transfers, flights home and the difficult task of explaining to friends and family why a retirement disco was one of the highlights of your holiday.

You arrived as strangers. You leave with new friends, a bunch of blurry photographs and enough stories to keep dinner party conversations going for years.

Safe travels. And remember: What happens in Florida usually ends up in the news.