Los Angeles; Lights, Camera, Beer!

Land in LA, check into West Hollywood, and tell yourself you’ll “take it easy tonight,” which is the first lie of the trip

Drinks at Good Times at Davey Wayne's, where you walk through a fridge door into a house party full of people who look like they’ve all got meetings tomorrow and absolutely won’t be attending them

Continue to Scum and Villainy Cantina, where cocktails glow, conversations get louder, and someone in your group becomes far more confident than their life experience supports

Meet a real paparazzo who calmly explains how celebrity sightings actually happen, why certain restaurants matter, and how a parked SUV can mean everything if you know what you’re looking at

Cruise past Chateau Marmont and nearby hotspots while learning where photographers stand, how they predict movements, and why timing is everything, until you start scanning the street like you’ve accidentally joined the industry

Walk through Hollywood hearing stories of murders, scandals and spectacularly bad decisions that make your own choices feel reassuringly minor

Visit to Museum of Death, where you will question your life choices before immediately continuing the tour anyway

Drift into a Sunset brewery crawl where the first pint feels like recovery, the second feels like a good idea, and by the third everyone agrees they’re “absolutely fine”

Sign up for an open mic, step onto a stage you didn’t expect to be on 12 hours earlier, and deliver something that is either brilliant, chaotic or unforgettable for reasons nobody can fully explain

Visit L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition and nod thoughtfully at concepts you half understand while pretending you’re definitely keeping up

Wander the abandoned zoo ruins in Griffith Park, stepping into empty enclosures and quietly deciding it all feels meaningful without agreeing on what it means

Take part in a filmed acting workshop where you’re handed a script, asked to be “natural,” and immediately discover that being natural is incredibly unnatural when a camera is involved

Head to Glendale and Burbank breweries where you confidently explain that your performance had “layers,” despite only remembering about 60% of it

Begin the day with a dance class involving pole work, coordination, and a group understanding that this will never be discussed again despite it becoming the most discussed moment of the trip

Step into a wrestling ring, create a character, grab a microphone and deliver a dramatic promo that feels far too serious for something involving a nickname like “The IPA Assassin”

Move through coastal breweries in El Segundo, Redondo and Inglewood where the combination of sunshine and beer convinces everyone they’ve unlocked a new level of personal growth

Continue into an optional karaoke night where confidence remains high, vocal ability varies significantly and at least one performance is treated like a farewell tour

Hear real stories from people who’ve lived a very different side of Los Angeles, shifting the tone just enough to remind you the city is more than neon and nonsense

Eat in Koreatown while attempting to look composed eating food that may or may not still be moving

Climb hidden staircases in Silver Lake that feel like secret pathways through the city, giving everyone a brief moment of calm reflection before it inevitably disappears

Return to breweries in the Valley where reflection is replaced with pints and increasingly confident storytelling

Attempt roller skating at Moonlight Rollerway, discovering immediately that balance is optional but falling is not

Spend the morning at a gun range learning controlled shooting techniques in an environment that feels oddly focused compared to everything else you’ve done

Track down locations from Blade Runner, Pulp Fiction and La La Land, slowly realising Los Angeles is constantly pretending to be somewhere else

Stop at breweries along the way where film discussions become increasingly philosophical and slightly less accurate

Attend a “manifest your movie deal” session where you invent a new persona, deliver a motivational speech and briefly consider making a life change you will not follow through on

Take an improv class where thinking is discouraged, reacting is required and everything somehow becomes funnier the less control you have

Meet people who’ve been chasing their “big break” for years, hearing stories that are equal parts inspiring, chaotic and slightly concerning

Work your way through Downtown LA breweries, confidently navigating menus like seasoned professionals despite clear evidence to the contrary

Create your own movie trailer with dramatic voiceovers, unnecessary slow motion and a level of commitment that suggests this might accidentally become your best work

Sit at Chateau Marmont scanning the room like you understand the city, which you don’t, but at this point that hardly matters

Walk through Venice Beach surrounded by performers, bodybuilders and people who have committed fully to whatever their thing is, whether or not anyone asked them to

Visit Venice Beach Freakshow and accept that the line between performance and reality has officially disappeared

Continue with a coastal bar crawl where conversations become nostalgic far too early in the day

Option to head into the desert to the Integratron near Joshua Tree, lie under a dome listening to sound vibrations, and briefly become the calmest version of yourself all week